Is social media ruining your relationship?

I bet a good number of you reading this will answer yes to this question. However, the real answer to this question depends on different other personal questions. The questions you should ask yourself are: “how are you using social media?” Are you allowing social media into your relationship?” And what are you doing that is destroying your relationship?”

Sadly, many of us, sometimes, ignore our real problems. Some of us, unleash these problems on social media and lastly, some of us just find our problems on social media. While the apparent connection between all three aspects can be social media, we must also determine how are these people using social media and why?

Personally, I use social media (Facebook) to catch up with old friends. It is my way of reconnecting and sometimes I use it as an advertising tool for my businesses. Now, I can proudly say that social media is nowhere around my relationship or my personal/private life. Therefore, in the case my relationship is destroyed, I’ll only have myself and my partner to blame for the ruin.

Unfortunately, not all of us can truthfully claim that. As it is clear that many use social media to meet people outside of their relationship, to expose or broadcast their relationship from the happiest moments to the most miserably, heart-wrenching moments. Some of us use it ‘supposedly’ solve our problems by posting your situations asking for people’s opinions or use it in lieu of a personal sitting, face to face discussion. In other words, some of us use social media to avoid facing and fixing our problems. This is the most dangerous way of letting social media into your relationship as it is not only immature, it takes away or ignore the real problems, leaving no rooms for fixing since we cannot determine the cause in the first place.

We all know we should, under no circumstances, not to let people and social media into our relationship, ever.  So, until you can decide in which of these three categories of people you belong and come up with a resolution, your relationship will know many headaches, but let me reassure you that it is not social media’s causing. It is time we look within and start taking responsibilty for our actions. Just as social media can help us, if we misuse it, we can destroy our whole being. So, the deal is to use it moderately, use it smart and keep our private life just that, private.  Try it and let me know how it works out for you! 

Maybe you gave her the reasons to…

Since there are countless numbers of articles about giving him the reasons to, we’ll make this about her.

Some of you guys are probably always wondering about why women do some of the things they do, like constantly doubting you, always arguing, always asking questions, etc… Now, just stop and reflect on yourselves for one minute and see what you could be doing in these situations.

Now, if you follow my blog or the couple of articles I have written, you will realize that I am always advising and encouraging women to avoid sticky and toxic relationships as much as possible. I do not necessarily believe in arguing and doubts in a healthy relationship. Trust is one of the most important and necessary factors for a healthy or a serious relationship. If she does not trust you, you don’t have a relationship yet.

To get back to why is she always doubting you, it is probably because you always give her reasons to. What I mean is, if you give her reason to doubt your words just once, she will not only doubt everything about you but also every day. It really is not that complicated, just avoid creating doubts by not always suspiciously be on the phone and quickly hides or close something when she shows up. That’s suspicious and she will most definitely ask you questions, believe you can avoid this argument, don’t lie. Tell her the truth and be willing to show her if she needs it. At the end of the day, you did decide on having a serious, healthy relationship with her, so why not keep everything healthy.

Gentlemen, when you lie to her, if she doesn’t already know the truth, she will find out soon enough. So, don’t risk having her arguing and doubting. Some guys will lie about the smallest and stupidest thing ever. Then, you wonder and even complain that she is the problem.

But this problem could simply be you, but your self-claimed manhood and conceit does not let you see it. Next time, think maybe I am giving her the reasons to. What if I try a different method, maybe she could respond differently.

P.S. Women don’t like to talk and argue, if you don’t answer and when asked a question, go around it and start blaming them or shaming them, then you have open their talking jaws. It is not like they love arguing with you and be mad. Again, what are you doing that is causing all the talking and arguing.  Also, keep in mind that there is a huge difference between asking a question, talking and arguing. Confusing these three could be one of the problems.

Time to Yourself

Ever wondered why most of the relationships you’ve been involved in never worked?
Then, don’t be to quick to judge your partners or everyone else. It may simply be that you need some time off so you can focus and work on yourself a bit. Sometimes, we are our own problems. If you are not ready, then, it won’t ever work.
It is not such a bad idea to take time for yourself and figure a few things out before you fully indulge into something so serious as relationship.
What I realize is that most of us don’t know how to be by ourselves, therefore, we are always looking for someone to validate us. Sadly, that is not the answer and we all must learn how to be single, alone because it can never hurt. Quite frankly, it helps you discover and understand yourself better. Instead of everybody else telling you who you are, wouldn’t you rather know who you are a little better?
Well, when you dedicate a little time to yourself and try not to lose yourself into someone else so quickly or when you are not ready, you can help yourself. You can discover new talents you did not think you have, new interests and better yet, you can understand the world better and change a few things you don’t like about yourself.
So, just allow yourself that time and maybe you can see a difference. Nobody can take what is yours away from you. Plus, instead of you ruining your chances with the right person, wouldn’t you rather take the time to really figure things out, that way, you know how to approach certain situations.

Is Money Indispensable?

So, I am back …… and I just thought of something my pastor said the other day and it was so interesting and I thought it was worthy of sharing.

So, do you think that you need money in order to live a good life?

No, I don’t think so and quite frankly, I know so that money is not so vital to a good, decent and joyful life. While many of the great pleasures may be expensive, but you can live with what you have and be a happy person. My pastor said that, he did not want to spend too much but he wanted to spend some time with his family and he wanted to go out. So, he took them out and for less than $25, they had a great time. So, is money really that big of a deal? Not really, you don’t need all that money to really enjoy life. There are simpler and sometimes, better way to live fully and happily.

I learned at a very young age that money was not everything and I think God for that because I love living and enjoying it to the fullest. I learned to do so in very simple ways and I cherish what may be the littlest thing to some. Truth is, there is loving life and loving money which are very different. You can definitely have a great time with little money. It’s good to learn to live with what you have and make the best of it because I truly believe that when you have too much money than needed, it creates more problems ( I may be saying that because I may seriously broke, but hey).

Seriously guys, you can live large with what you have and those dear and close to you. Money is only a bonus and if only many of us would understand that, I bet life would be so much better.

Peeples

      So, I watched “Peeples” last night and I am not sure how I feel about it. while I think it was very funny and also a good movie but it irked my nerves a little.  It’s really no one’s fault but I realize that these things really do happen in real life and I just pictured myself in this poor guy’s shoes and I didn’t like it.

      If you have yet to see this movie, don’t worry, I will try my best not to spoil it for you. Now, I loved the humor and I laughed as hard as I could whenever necessary but why so many stupid secrets though? It almost made no sense to me. I really had a different understanding of friendship and family and one thing I liked, though, is that these issues exist in real families and relationships. This movie shows that while you may have fortune, fame or whatever, communication is very important in both romantic relationship and family.

      Parents, you need to learn how to love and talk to your children, don’t focus so much on your status and having your kids praising you so much that they are scared to talk to you about important stuff. You have got to be cool and open because as your children are growing they will be making different decisions and you don’t want to be left out of those just because they are afraid to talk to you. While you have to be a parent and I understand that it is very different from being a friend, you should leave room for a little comfort because it will surely help your relationship.If your children cannot talk to you, that may be a problem.

      Everybody knows that I hate lies already, so it’s fair to say I cannot stand secrets. You cannot have secrets in a relationship although  he should have noticed those two round secrets there, but let’s not go there. You should not have that many secrets in a serious relationship period. If you really see a future with a person, why would you keep that person a secret from your family for so long? That makes no sense to me, while there might have been reasons to make it difficult to tell them, you are grown, you should have been ready to have that talk with your folks, it is just that. It was to a point where I thought the man should have left because while I understand that she was afraid of her father, but she could have at least stand up for him a couple of times. Those things just did not click with me and it is sad for me to think that it really happens.

     Anyway, all these different things show how important communication is. It is not always about being a dictator, overly protective or having to live to different societal standards, you must have and maintain a great relationship with your family because that is very important. Also, learn to have less secrets because I know, there will be some secrets sometimes, but try not to have so many secrets especially about these things that are so important. The lying really has to stop because I am pretty sure everybody hates to be lied to, so try not to do it and learn to communicate in any type of relationships.

  • I really hope I did not spoil it too much for those who have not seen it and if I did, well, I apologize.

Guy-Girl Friend

Hey there folks,

I have not been on here for a good while now. I have abandoned my blog because I have been tired and kind of busy. You know with school just ended and lack of sleep lately. I have just had to take a break and be a little lazy. But, I am back and ready to go for good this time. So here we go.

I have had a few experiences in the last couple of weeks and had conversations with a few people and many seem to be confused about a girl having a guy friend-that is just friend.  I, personally, have lots of male friends. Some are single, married, engaged or just in a relationship. I don’t care because they are just my friends. What most people do not understand is that we are in 2013, therefore not ever relationship has to be romantic and not everything is about sex or what not. I don’t look at my friends any other way than just my friends and I hope they don’t either. A girl can definitely befriend a guy with no intention of being anything other than regular friend, not friend with benefits, just friend like she can be with another girl.

Some people always say that most guy think about nothing other than sex but I always said that was untrue because I know guys who are respectful, mature and human enough. It is not always about romantic relationship. I have good male friends and I have had no problems with them. It’s not really about gender, it is more about who can you talk to and be yourself around, who can understand you and who genuinely cares about you. That person may be anyone from a girl to a guy. It’s a matter of respect. If a person is educated enough, he or she will know that there is no need for romance or sex between these two people. They can just be friends who genuinely care about each other.

It is quite sad to see some people cannot open their minds to see reality as it is, not as they want it to be. One must be so closed-minded to not be able to recognize that, indeed, a guy can be a good friend to a girl. I have so many guy friends and as most people would agree, once a guy is my friend, I never look at him in any romantic way and that is the same for a lot of people out there.

I just wanted to say that it is perfectly innocent for a girl to befriend a guy with no romantic intentions. This is the 21st century and we have to open our eyes as well as our minds to see the reality of things. Don’t be so closed-minded.