Is social media ruining your relationship?

I bet a good number of you reading this will answer yes to this question. However, the real answer to this question depends on different other personal questions. The questions you should ask yourself are: “how are you using social media?” Are you allowing social media into your relationship?” And what are you doing that is destroying your relationship?”

Sadly, many of us, sometimes, ignore our real problems. Some of us, unleash these problems on social media and lastly, some of us just find our problems on social media. While the apparent connection between all three aspects can be social media, we must also determine how are these people using social media and why?

Personally, I use social media (Facebook) to catch up with old friends. It is my way of reconnecting and sometimes I use it as an advertising tool for my businesses. Now, I can proudly say that social media is nowhere around my relationship or my personal/private life. Therefore, in the case my relationship is destroyed, I’ll only have myself and my partner to blame for the ruin.

Unfortunately, not all of us can truthfully claim that. As it is clear that many use social media to meet people outside of their relationship, to expose or broadcast their relationship from the happiest moments to the most miserably, heart-wrenching moments. Some of us use it ‘supposedly’ solve our problems by posting your situations asking for people’s opinions or use it in lieu of a personal sitting, face to face discussion. In other words, some of us use social media to avoid facing and fixing our problems. This is the most dangerous way of letting social media into your relationship as it is not only immature, it takes away or ignore the real problems, leaving no rooms for fixing since we cannot determine the cause in the first place.

We all know we should, under no circumstances, not to let people and social media into our relationship, ever.  So, until you can decide in which of these three categories of people you belong and come up with a resolution, your relationship will know many headaches, but let me reassure you that it is not social media’s causing. It is time we look within and start taking responsibilty for our actions. Just as social media can help us, if we misuse it, we can destroy our whole being. So, the deal is to use it moderately, use it smart and keep our private life just that, private.  Try it and let me know how it works out for you! 

‘War on Ebola’

So, this guy thought it was cool to just stop in the middle of boarding to pull out his “War on Ebola” magazine and put it in my face or something. I get it, it’s a serious disease but come on people, let us be real here. Ebola is not a new disease, it is not the end of the world. Face it, we have to be cautious at all times, always, not just when a disease pops up.
There is no need to be extra and it should be an excuse to treat people like crap. We get it, you wanna be safe, but spare us, well, spare me the ‘extraness’, the drama. Stop picking when and where to use sanitary precautions. Always be aware, alert and cautious.

Is Money Indispensable?

So, I am back …… and I just thought of something my pastor said the other day and it was so interesting and I thought it was worthy of sharing.

So, do you think that you need money in order to live a good life?

No, I don’t think so and quite frankly, I know so that money is not so vital to a good, decent and joyful life. While many of the great pleasures may be expensive, but you can live with what you have and be a happy person. My pastor said that, he did not want to spend too much but he wanted to spend some time with his family and he wanted to go out. So, he took them out and for less than $25, they had a great time. So, is money really that big of a deal? Not really, you don’t need all that money to really enjoy life. There are simpler and sometimes, better way to live fully and happily.

I learned at a very young age that money was not everything and I think God for that because I love living and enjoying it to the fullest. I learned to do so in very simple ways and I cherish what may be the littlest thing to some. Truth is, there is loving life and loving money which are very different. You can definitely have a great time with little money. It’s good to learn to live with what you have and make the best of it because I truly believe that when you have too much money than needed, it creates more problems ( I may be saying that because I may seriously broke, but hey).

Seriously guys, you can live large with what you have and those dear and close to you. Money is only a bonus and if only many of us would understand that, I bet life would be so much better.

Should you forgive?

I have been asked this question so many times. A lot of people are wondering when is it okay to forgive and what should you forgive in a relationship.

I am no relationship expert and I am not even sure I can answer this question. I’ll say that forgiving is great and if God himself can forgive us, then why can’t you forgive someone else. However, forgiving is not forgetting and also remember we are human.

In the case where your partner cheats on you, only you know whether or not you should stay. Personally, I don’t think I would ever be able to trust that person ever again, therefore, I would forgive him and keep it moving. I must also say that sometimes, you might be able to work something out with your partner, you can sit down and discus the issues in your relationship. As sad and frustrating it may be to admit, sometimes, you may be pushing your partner away to cheat. So, I think in some, rare cases, you may be able to work something out. In the case, you cannot work it out, forget it and move on because you don’t want to stay in a relationship where you are not happy and you are holding back from your partner. It is not fair to your partner. If it is not working, let it go.

Now, in the event that your partner beats the human out of you, I don’t think there should be any question about whether or not you should stay. The only option is to leave. I understand that sometimes, it may be hard to leave because you have allowed it for so long that you get used to it and for some sick reason, you put it to your head that your partner does it because he or she cares and you make excuses for him or her. For the last time, those who love you will never want to see you suffer. And when you allow these people to treat you this way, you show them that you don’t love yourself and when you do not love yourself, no one will be able to love you. So, should you forgive that person? Yes, the best way you can, but you would be a fool to go back and let that person destroy your life. Never play with your life or think it’s okay to let someone abuse you. You have a life to live and you need to be able to fully enjoy it and do what you were born to do. Stop allowing people into your life who will not respect or cherish you like God does.

Remember, it is great to forgive but forgiving does not mean we go back to the same position again. You have got to be cautious and learn from your mistake. If someone is beating you to death, remember you are worth so much more and I will say this again, you should always try to forgive but don’t always go back. Forgive and move on, if something does not work and you can’t fix it, let it go. It was probably not meant to be, so learn to move one, love yourself and live a little.

Miami Drivers…..

I just would like to know what is wrong with Miami Drivers. I say Miami Drivers because that’s who I deal with every single day. They are just the worst. They are always in such a hurry, they do not know how to put their signals when switching lanes and turning and they don’t know how to drive in just one lane.

No wonder there are so many accidents and it is so funny how they are so quick to blame it on the young, new drivers when, in reality, most of those I see doing these things are people who have been driving all their life and are not so young. I don’t want to judge anyone but they make me afraid to drive.

If you have an appointment, work or school at a certain time, please leave home at an appropriate time depending on the distance between where you live with the place you’re going to. There is absolutely no need to be rushing through the streets or the Expressway as a crazy human being. Take your time and you will eventually get there. And if you realize that you are already late, then, just accept that you are, driving like crazy will certainly not help you make that up. If anything, what you may get is a trip to the hospital or the morgue. So, wouldn’t you rather be a little late or leave on time than getting into an accident?

Also, when you have to switch lanes or turning, there are the left and right signals. They are made for a very specific purpose. To let the driver behind or next to you know that you would like to turn or switch lanes. When you just switch right in front of me with absolutely no signal, I go crazy. So, please stop. Let people know that you need to switch and they’ll let you go, but don’t just cut in front of them like jungle animals.

I was driving this afternoon and this car in front of me kept going right and left. It’s almost as if he or she was not sure where he or she wanted to go. The car was on two lanes literally and I had to slow down which makes no sense at all. When you went to get your license, you made sure to do everything right, so why not use all of these rules that you’ve learned on the road, that way you can protect yourself, your car and everybody else.

Honking and talking on the phone are also two big problems Miami drivers face. You cannot concentrate on driving when you are gossiping with you homies on the phone. Whatever it is can certainly wait, so ease up on the phone calls or texts. You’ll get a chance to do that later. Then, honking, I personally love honking but I also understand that it is annoying and disorienting. If there is no need to honk, then don’t do it. Also, don’t honk me when the line turns yellow, rushing me to turn just because you did not know when to leave your house. I will not jeopardize my life or my passenger’s or anybody else’s life just because. Take it easy and your time will come. Once again, if there is no serious need to honk the car next to you or in front of you, just don’t do it. It is annoying and it takes people by surprise which can cause unnecessary accidents sometimes.

There you have it, so be careful on the road and look out for yourself and everyone else.!

Divorce…

When is it okay and who should get a divorce?

It is never an easy feeling or procedure which is why I always tell people, don’t ever rush into anything. While it is fun and beautiful to get married, being married comes with a lot of responsibilities. It is very different from when you are just dating someone. It is actually a very serious business. If you are not ready, just stay away from it.

So when does it make sense to get a divorce?

Many Christians believe that divorce is a sin. I agree that you have officially agreed to “till death do us part”, but you don’t want to cause your death. God is a great God, he helps, forgives, and loves. So, while you believe that divorce is a sin, also believe that love and forgiveness are also very real. Always learn to love yourself because until you do, you won’t know what love really is. You won’t be able to love others or know when someone truly loves you.  Now, back to when a divorce makes sense, it makes sense when it is one of these two options: divorce or murder. So many stories have ended this way, where the person so desperately wanted to stay in the marriage hoping that everything will change because they know divorce is a sin and how will society see them, instead of leaving when they can no longer stay, they kill. Now, when they said “till death do us part”, I am most positive it is not that kind of death they were talking about. So, when your only options are divorce or murder, make the one which does not ruin your life. Your significant other is constantly cheating, mistreating you, physically, emotionally, verbally abusing you, don’t force it, don’t kill, just let it go. Do what is best for you. Believe living the rest of your life with the burden of killing someone is so not worth it, jail is necessary. Do what is best. Love yourself and think about yourself, your family and friends. Never stop loving yourself, if someone is abusing you or you just don’t feel safe in a marriage, it is okay to let go and get a divorce if nothing else works. Don’t sit around, hoping things will change when you are just really putting yourself at greater risks. Just care about yourself a little and remember God sees everything and he forgives. If it is not working, it is just not working and remember you deserve a lot better and the right to be happy. So please, love and care for yourself because that person clearly does not love or care for you as much as you thought.  Go ahead and live the life God created for you, don’t sentence yourself to death just because.  Enjoy life and don’t ever allow anyone to take that away from you! You deserve the best, always, so have it!