Maybe you gave her the reasons to…

Since there are countless numbers of articles about giving him the reasons to, we’ll make this about her.

Some of you guys are probably always wondering about why women do some of the things they do, like constantly doubting you, always arguing, always asking questions, etc… Now, just stop and reflect on yourselves for one minute and see what you could be doing in these situations.

Now, if you follow my blog or the couple of articles I have written, you will realize that I am always advising and encouraging women to avoid sticky and toxic relationships as much as possible. I do not necessarily believe in arguing and doubts in a healthy relationship. Trust is one of the most important and necessary factors for a healthy or a serious relationship. If she does not trust you, you don’t have a relationship yet.

To get back to why is she always doubting you, it is probably because you always give her reasons to. What I mean is, if you give her reason to doubt your words just once, she will not only doubt everything about you but also every day. It really is not that complicated, just avoid creating doubts by not always suspiciously be on the phone and quickly hides or close something when she shows up. That’s suspicious and she will most definitely ask you questions, believe you can avoid this argument, don’t lie. Tell her the truth and be willing to show her if she needs it. At the end of the day, you did decide on having a serious, healthy relationship with her, so why not keep everything healthy.

Gentlemen, when you lie to her, if she doesn’t already know the truth, she will find out soon enough. So, don’t risk having her arguing and doubting. Some guys will lie about the smallest and stupidest thing ever. Then, you wonder and even complain that she is the problem.

But this problem could simply be you, but your self-claimed manhood and conceit does not let you see it. Next time, think maybe I am giving her the reasons to. What if I try a different method, maybe she could respond differently.

P.S. Women don’t like to talk and argue, if you don’t answer and when asked a question, go around it and start blaming them or shaming them, then you have open their talking jaws. It is not like they love arguing with you and be mad. Again, what are you doing that is causing all the talking and arguing.  Also, keep in mind that there is a huge difference between asking a question, talking and arguing. Confusing these three could be one of the problems.

What do men want?

So, I received this email asking me this question, “What do men want?”

Quite frankly, I have no clue. Apparently, as difficult to understand as men seem to believe women are, it seems that women feel the same way about men. Personally, I don’t think there is any way to know what a person wants unless the person tells you very explicitly what it is he or she wants.

I agree sometimes people can be quite confusing with their feelings and that is somewhat normal. Some guys will probably make you feel like they care today and the next day, they act a little different and that can be confusing. However, I believe that is normal and if you find yourself in this situation, you can always ask the guy what he really wants. Us, women can be a little indecisive sometimes too and we often confuse guys the same way. Sometimes, it may be simply because we want to be sure and certain and we have not found that certainty just yet, sometimes we can also be confused with ourselves or it may just as well be our insecurities at times.

Let’s not confuse ourselves even more and get too worked up about what men want. Instead, let’s ask them and if we can’t do that, let’s just let things be and just be happy as it is. Sometimes, we, women, tend to over-think things and we worry more than we should.

So, to answer this question, men want the same things we want which is a better and happy life. We are all under tremendous pressure and are all looking for the very best and sometimes, it may take us a while to figure out what is best and when it’s best. Ask your man what he wants if you really need to know but always remember that men hate being pressured (well, that’s all humans) and they can take an awful longer time to finally decide on certain things, relationship included. So, be careful, smart and mindful.

Does He Like You?

Someone asked: “How do you know if and when a guy likes you?”
To be honest, I have no clue. I heard there are signs/hints which you could catch to find out whether anyone (guy or girl) likes you. Unfortunately, I am unable to catch any of these so called signs or hints.
Personally, a guy does not like you until he tells you so. If he does, he will. Don’t stress yourself trying to read signs. Sometimes, these signs may have different meanings, but since you are focusing on them so much as to find out someone’s true feelings for you, you can misread them. A person will do/say things only because he/she is polite and have respect for others.
I am not dismissing the fact that some signs may actually show how someone feels about you. However, the only way to be sure is if and when they tell you. You can take your chances, but to answer this question again, you would know if a guy likes you when he tells you. What he likes you for or in other words, what he wants from you is a whole different story.

First Date Kiss

Okay, this is one of my favorite subjects. I have been asked to answer this question, “is it okay to kiss on a first date?

I don’t know where to begin with this. Well, I’ll go with it depends. I think if you really care about someone, it shouldn’t matter. It’s all about chemistry, if it’s right and strong, it will happen naturally. On the other hand, if you try to force, then it’s wrong.

As women, we think too much about certain things. I don’t think kissing a guy on a first date should make him like/love you less than he probably did before. If that’s the case, then I’m afraid there was no genuine like/love in the first place. I can see why a guy may be a bit skeptical if you sleep with him on a first date, but that’s another topic. However, I don’t think it’s a bad thing if it happens naturally. We must not overthink because we can’t control how we feel at a moment. If you have to think about it, then maybe you shouldn’t do it. Otherwise, just live life and let God works his miracles.

“Attention Deficit Disorder”

Do some of you women have ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder)?

It is not what most of us know and from my conversation with a friend last night, I realize that many young women do, in fact, suffer from ADD. As I told my friend, all women want and love attention, some just want it much more than others and are so desperate for it.

Before I go any further into this discussion, let me define ADD for some of you. Unlike what you might know or think it is, this particular ADD is when people do things or live for attention, it may be from a particular person or a group of people. In other words, people with this ADD are called “Desperate Attention Seekers“. Believe me, there are people who will do just about anything to get attention. Sometimes, it may not even be the right kind of attention.

For the sake of this discussion, I’ll focus more on the young women out there. What would you guys do for attention and why is attention so indispensable for you? Can you really crave attention so much that everyone can tell how badly you want it? I mean seriously ladies. It’s okay, I want attention and I believe every single woman can testify that at one point, they all want attention. However, you cannot let yourself, your dignity, your self-respect go just because of attention. Especially when it comes to men, you cannot jeopardize too much for attention because, as I always say and believe, you will not have to fight or stress over the right attention. The person  from whom you deserve attention, will give it to you, no questions asked.  Learn to focus on what is necessary instead. Don’t make it so obvious that you look desperate and believe me, it’s not attractive. So, let the attention finds you because if you carry yourself the way you should and according to the attention you need, it will find you without any sweat.

So, stop looking so desperate and hungry for something so nonsensical and quite unnecessary.

If Only You Knew!!!

I went to church and part of the message was about women who do not know their worth. I thought, I should definitely write about this because so many women out there aren’t fully aware of how worthy they truly are.

So many young women struggle with self-esteem issues and believe me I know how that can make you feel. But, know that you are worth so much more than you will ever really understand. God created you to be so important and you should know that. You are made to be beautiful, so just be that.

One important thing the lady said was that some of us, women do not know how to appreciate and take compliments. A compliment is meant to be just that. Don’t fall in love with someone just because he says “you’re beautiful”. You should have already known that, so that is no surprise to you. You must say thanks because it is a nice gesture and thank him for noticing. Now, some people will say that you are conceited but don’t you have a good reason to be? Don’t fall in love or sleep with guys too quickly. I understand when you are dealing with self-esteem issues, you need attention and when you get the least bit of it, you tend to go crazy. Stop that and you have no reason to be having those self-esteem issues in the first place. God knows how beautiful you are whether you are thin, extra thin, average, big-boned, big or huge. It really doesn’t matter. You need to know that you are made to be beautiful so, always remember that and believe that you are a beautiful and very important creature. Those people who are destroying your self-esteem know it way too well, that’s why they want you to destroy yourself.

Believe in yourself and one thing I hate when some women do is that they go chasing men, married or single. What is wrong with you? If a man is married or in any type of relationship with any other woman, he is unavailable. Get that in your head, he is unavailable. Don’t listen to the beautiful, sweet nothings this man will be telling you , he is not for you and you should know better. Also, that is a sign of disrespect towards both of you as women. If he is in a relationship, he should not have come to you in the first place and you should not allow him under any circumstances. If you like a man and he is not willing to make an effort to show you his interest, don’t chase him. It is not your job.  As women, when we like a guy, he will know it without us even saying anything because we have that gift. So, the thing is if the guy is not responding well to your natural signals, he is either slow or just not interested because if he was, he would pick them up very quickly. Whatever you do, never chase a guy, it is not your place. You can do your part but he has to be willing to do his. Stop the chasing, you are worth so much more!

Don’t go sleeping with guys just because, don’t do it. Unlike most guys, women have the capability to get emotionally attached and as I always say, once I am attached, I know, I am just attached. So try to avoid putting yourself in extra vulnerable situations where you are subject to serious disappointments. Just because a guy compliments you or treat you nice, you do not have to sleep with him. He should compliment and treat you nice. You very much deserve it, it’s not a favor. People will say that I am very conceited, but, in reality, I have all the rights to be. Also, it is not about being conceited, it is more about knowing yourself. I know who I am and I won’t allow anyone to tell me otherwise. Learn to know yourself, love and respect yourself. I always tell my friends, no one will ever love me more than I love myself.

Ladies, you are so beautiful and worthy. It hurts to see so many of you are unaware of that and fall for anything that is out there. Stop putting yourself in situations you have no business in and don’t let people play with your mind into thinking you are only a sex object and you have to do this to be beautiful or acceptable. Those same people are making money off of you because you let them play with your mind. It’s about that time, you stop and take a look at yourself. Think, if it was not for us, women, those people could not have been there in the first place. They don’t know how you got there and don’t let them take you out. Love yourself as much as you can and you’ll understand why God loves you so much. You are worth so much and if only you knew that, you would have people kneeling at your feet and running after you because you are that powerful and beautiful. So, don’t let people tell you otherwise.